... Gabriel Morrisalready. My heart was pounding and skipping beats. I was now re-
ceiving electric shocks at the tops of my feet and the backs of my
hands as well as from unknown places within my consciousness. I
felt as if some force was pulling away at my temples, trying to extract
my life essence; and I had a crushing sensation around my head, as
if my skull were in the grips of a large wrench. The fire at the base
of my spine was spreading upwards despite my attempts to control
it, engulfing my entire back in raging heat and pain. And the electric
shocks coming from my hands and feet were spreading throughout
my limbs to my torso, so that it felt as if the nerves, bones, and mus-
cles in my body were becoming electrically charged.
I decided to lie down on my thin mattress on the floor and try to fall
asleep. I hoped at least that unconsciousness would provide me with
some temporary relief, but I found that, exhausted from a day that
had been emotionally draining to begin with only to escalate into a
state of severe psychic imbalance, I was unable to sleep. Instead, I lay
there through the night enduring my inner torment, tossing and turn-
ing, praying to drift into unconsciousness to ease my pain, or at least
give me some strength to regain my sanity in the following days.
If I had known at the time that it would not be days or weeks, but
years before I found myself in a state of mind that I could call manage-
able, I doubt if I could have survived the awesome journey on which
I had just embarked. I had no understanding then of what had just
occurred or what might have caused it. I didn’t know that this was
a legitimate and well-documented spiritual phenomenon. Though I
had practiced yoga and was familiar with the term Kundalini, I didn’t
realize that this intense onslaught of energy originating in the base
of the spine was what it actually referred to. I didn’t know that there
was a positive side to this experience, bringing spiritual healing and
well-being. All I knew was that, for no reason that I could fathom,
my fundamental experience of reality had just been shattered—as if
I’d been struck by lightning out of a clear blue sky, and I was reel-
ing in shock from its damaging effects on my body, mind, and soul,
struggling to stay alive.