Kundalini and the Art of Being ... 9As the light of dawn finally began to emerge the next day, I awoke
from restless sleep to find that my symptoms had not subsided. I
decided to get out of the small apartment for the day despite my
exhaustion, hoping to distract myself.
The reasons why I found myself in Austin, Texas were rather
complex. But to make a long story short (for now), Amy—the friend
whose apartment I was sharing—was actually an ex-girlfriend of
sorts, with whom I was not in the best of communication at the
time. She was seeing someone else, while I was staying with her
temporarily in her one-room studio. But she was the only person
in the state whom I could call a friend. The emotional turmoil that
opened this story was a result of this predicament, making my life
situation at the time a rather dismal one, even before this bizarre
development. But I’ll elaborate more on that later.
I spent most of that day wandering around Austin, in a dazed and
hyper-conscious state. By that afternoon, my exhaustion had inten-
sified my symptoms so much that I was unsure if I could stand it
much longer. In addition to the terrifying psychological imbalance,
the blocked energy was also manifesting more and more as pain in
my body. My heart alternately wrenched, stopped, stuttered, and
pulsated wildly, so that I was wandering along downtown Austin
with my hand clutching my chest as if that might somehow keep it
from stopping altogether. The burning at the base of my spine was
constant, and I was receiving electric shocks at random throughout
my body.
Eventually, later that afternoon, I decided to head back to Amy’s
apartment. I was relieved to find that she wasn’t there, since I
wouldn’t have known what to say or how to relate to her in my
present condition. I took a shower, then lay down on my mattress
on the floor to take a nap. Finally, miraculously, I was able to fall into
deep sleep.
When I awoke later that evening, I actually felt a little better,
momentarily. But everything flooded back as I fully awoke. I also