11This chapter was originally entitled “Be Nonconfrontational,” but that
moniker made it sound like one should be wimpy and avoid sticky issues.
That isn’t the intention. In a way, this principle parallels the physician’s
Do No Harm mantra. This chapter will describe how to defuse the inevi-
table confrontations that school leaders face daily.
Master teachers rarely have confrontations with students, parents, or
their own colleagues. When a potentially volatile situation arises, they
stay calm. Their very demeanor (body language and voice tone) prevents
the matter from getting out of hand. Such master teachers rarely send stu-
dents to a dean or assistant principal for disciplinary action. When an irate
parent comes to see these teachers, the parent usually leaves satisfied. If
they have a disagreement with a colleague, they resolve it.
However, the stress is on the word usually. School leaders have to
handle those few situations when even the master teachers fail. They also
have to handle the many situations that non–master teachers should have
resolved but didn’t. The role of the school leader in handling confronta-
tions is twofold: to resolve the most difficult issues before they get to the
superintendent or local media, and to train all staff to defuse rather than
exacerbate a situation.
Let’s begin with an illustrative anecdote. Manhattan High School is a
vertical site, a rarity in New York City. Instead of being a three- or four-
story building spread out over half a city block, it is ten-story building
compacted in the middle of the street. There are elevators on both the east
and west sides of the building. The east elevators are designated as student
Chapter Two