feel it is sometimes necessary to assert authority, especially to make an
important point. They are wrong. Unless one is engaging in a heated dis-
cussion because of the assumed role one has to play (as a principal and a
union representative at a grievance hearing), confrontations, even when
followed by a hand shake or an assertion of “no hard feelings,” always
lead to future repercussions.
Because we are all human, harsh words are rarely forgotten, particu-
larly when they come from a person in authority. Once said, they cannot
be taken back. Once said, they will forever color the relationship of those
involved.
The downside of not exacerbating, which often means avoiding confron-
tations, was mentioned at the beginning of this chapter: The school leader
could be seen as a wimp avoiding sticky issues. As some of the examples
in this chapter show, however, it is not so much avoiding issues as ap-
proaching them obliquely rather than head on.
Let’s look at how Mr. Thelen first became an interim acting assistant
principal. Mr. Brown, the principal of the high school with the position,
knowing he was going to need a department supervisor, asked his col-
leagues for recommendations. Ms. White, Mr. Thelen’s principal, gave
him such a recommendation. Not being one to trust his colleagues (af-
ter all, she could be trying to solve a problem by dumping it in another
school), Mr. Brown called an old friend on staff in Ms. White’s school.
The report he received was that on the surface Mr. Thelen might seem
to be easygoing—a pushover—but that he was tenacious and usually got
what he wanted in the end. This is one way to describe the leadership style
described in this chapter: Don’t exacerbate, but don’t accept and don’t
give up either.
26 Chapter 2