Oxford Dictionary of Medical Quotations

Sir Christopher Andrews –

Director, World Influenza Centre, London

Influenza is something unique. It behaves
epidemiologically in a way different from that of
any other known infection.
Foreword to Influenza: The Last Great Plague, W.I.B.
Beveridge. Heinemann, London ()

Professor ‘Tommy’ Annandale

–

Professor of Surgery, Edinburgh

They say it doesn’t matter how long one washes
one’s hands, because there will still be organisms
in the sweat glands and hair follicles, so I rub my
hands with Vaseline.
Harley Streetp. , Reginald Pound. Michael Joseph,
London ()

Anonymous

An adult is one who has ceased to grow vertically
but not horizontally.

A consultant is a man sent in after the battle to
bayonet the wounded.
Penguin Dictionary of Modern Humorous Quotationsp. ,
Fred Metcalf. Penguin Books, London ()

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a
patient who cannot give one are in danger of
giving and receiving bad treatment.
Clues in the Diagnosis and Treatment of Heart Diseases
Introduction, Paul Dudley White

An epidemiologist is a doctor broken down by age
and sex.

A faithful friend is the medicine of life.

A fool lives as long as his destiny allows him.
The Sunday TimesJuly , as a phrase of the suicide
Svetozar Milosˇovic ́, father of Slobodan Milosˇovic ́, President
of Serbia on trial for war crimes

A man’s liver is his carburettor.

An observant parent’s evidence may be disproved
but should never be ignored.
Lancet: ()

A minor operation: one performed on
somebody else.
Penguin Dictionary of Modern Humorous Quotationsp. ,
Fred Metcalf. Penguin Books, London ()

A physician is someone who knows
everything and does nothing.
A surgeon is someone who does
everything and knows nothing.
A psychiatrist is someone who knows
nothing and does nothing.
A pathologist is someone who knows
everything and does everything too late.

A surgeon should give as little pain as possible
while he is treating the patient, and no pain at all
when he charges his fee.
‘FRCS’ in The Times, quoted by Reginald Pound in Harley
Street. Michael Joseph, London ()

Abstinence is a good thing, but it should always be

practised in moderation.

A rash of dermatologists, a hive of allergists, a

scrub of interns, a giggle of nurses, a flood of

urologists, a pile of proctologists, an eyeful of

ophthalmologists, a whiff of anesthesiologists, a

cast of orthopaedic rheumatologists, a gargle of

laryngologists.

Asthma is a disease that has practically the same

symptoms as passion except that with asthma it

lasts longer.

Journal of the American Medical Association: ()

By the year 2000 the commonest killers such as

coronary heart disease, stroke, respiratory,

diseases and many cancers will be wiped out.

Irish TimesApril ()

Children are one third of our population and all

our future.

US Select Panel for Promotion of Child Health()

Choose your specialist and you choose your

disease.

The Westminster ReviewMay ()

Coughs and sneezes spread diseases.

British wartime slogan ()

Dermatology is the best specialty. The patient

never—dies and never gets well.

Medical Quotes, J. Dantith and A. Isaacs. Market House

Books, Oxford ()

Dr Bell fell down the well

And broke his collar bone

Doctors should attend the sick

And leave the well alone

Doctor says he would be a very sick man if were

still alive today.

Even a good operation done poorly is still a poor

operation.

Everyone faces at all times two fateful possibilities:

one is to grow older, the other not.

Exploratory operation: a remunerative

reconnaissance.

Fifty years ago the successful doctor was said to

need three things; a top hat to give him Authority,

a paunch to give him Dignity, and piles to give him

an Anxious Expression.

Lancet: ()

Get up at five, have lunch at nine,

Supper at five, retire at nine,

And you will live to ninety-nine.

   ·

Continued