Ananas and Anionites 99care whether or not I believe her as long as my attitude
didn't distract from the concepts she was trying to
convey to me.
I wanted to believe her; but living in various cities in
the world, I'd learned to be paranoid, to not trust people.
Everyone seemed to be out to get you, from the muggers
on the streets to the Internal Revenue and the rotten
establishment. I wasn't born that way; I was conditioned
to it.
There were also other considerations. I thought about
my finances. What she was suggesting I do could
jeopardize my lifestyle. I kept an expensive apartment in
Beverly Hills and drove a fancy sports car. I liked my
salary and the things I could do with it.
I had always liked to be a free spirit, to do what I
wanted whenever I felt like doing it. That's why I had no
binding commitments, not to a particular person, com
pany or a family.
On the other hand, I knew that it was also because of
the nature of freelance work that I had made a decision
not to marry. Any sudden or drastic changes in my life
therefore wouldn't hurt anyone else.
After a while, I lay down close to Rama and fell asleep.
About an hour later, I was awakened by her touch as she
lightly stroked my forehead with the palm of her hand. I
stretched and shifted my body towards her lovely face
above me. She called me "sleepy face." We got up and
walked to a nearby spring to drink sulfuric water. There
we found another comfortable patch of green and sat
down.
"Rama," I said after a long silence, "I've decided I wa nt
to stay. I'll do whatever I can to help you write that
message of yours. I'll introduce you to some writers and
people in the publishing business."
She shook her head. "No, Chacho. I'll give you all the
help you need, but I want you to do this by yourself."
The last of my resistance dissolved." All right," I said,