or if you remember, you say, “You’re not gentle!
Whack!”
You hear a slogan like “Always maintain only a joy-
ful mind,” and for the whole next two weeks you’re
just hitting yourself over the head for never being joy-
ful. That kind of witness is a bit heavy. So lighten up.
Don’t make such a big deal. The key to feeling at
home with your body, mind, and emotions, to feeling
worthy to live on this planet, comes from being able
to lighten up. This earnestness, this seriousness
about everything in our lives—including practice—
this goal-oriented, we’re-going-to-do-it-or-else atti-
tude, is the world’s greatest killjoy. There’s no sense
of appreciation because we’re so solemn about every-
thing. In contrast, a joyful mind is very ordinary and
relaxed.
Once on retreat I was reading some traditional text
that talked about bliss and special experiences, and I
began to feel wretched. I felt poverty-stricken about
never having had any experiences that felt like bliss,
clarity, or luminosity. I began to feel depressed that I
didn’t measure up to any of these glowing words. For-
tunately, I put that book down and picked up some-
thing simple about just being alive with who you are
right now—nothing special, no big deal, ordinary:
just keep your eyes open, keep your ears open, stay
awake. Those simple instructions began to cheer me
up, because I felt that I could follow them.
When your aspiration is to lighten up, you begin to
Lighten Up 133