This nondualistic approach is true to the heart be-
cause it’s based on our kinship with each other. We
know what to say, because we have experienced clos-
ing down, shutting off, being angry, hurt, rebellious,
and so forth, and have made a relationship with those
things in ourselves.
This is not about problem resolution. This is a
more open-ended and courageous approach. It has to
do with not knowing what will happen. It has nothing
to do with wanting to get ground under your feet. It’s
about keeping your heart and your mind open to
whatever arises, without hope of fruition. Problem
solving is based first on thinking there is a problem
and second on thinking there is a solution. The con-
cepts of problem and solution can keep us stuck in
thinking that there is an enemy and a saint or a right
way and a wrong way. The approach we’re suggesting
is more groundless than that.
A key slogan is “Change your attitude, but remain
natural” or “Change your attitude and relax as it is.”
In order to have compassionate relationships,
compassionate communication, and compassionate
social action, there has to be a fundamental change
of attitude. The notion “I am the helper and you are
the one who needs help” might work in a temporary
way, but fundamentally nothing changes, because
there’s still one who has it and one who doesn’t. That
dualistic notion is not really speaking to the heart.
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