enemy? What would it take to be able to have my
enemy hear what I’m trying to say, and what would it
take for me to be able to hear what he or she is trying
to say to me? How to communicate from the heart is
the essence of what tonglen is about.
You can extend even further to all sentient beings,
which involves seeing that this practice is extraordi-
narily vast. Of course, we could use the notion of “all
sentient beings” to distance ourselves from pain, to
make the immediate, relative situation more abstract
and far away. Someone said to me in all seriousness,
“I have a very easy time doing tonglen for all sentient
beings, but I have a little trouble doing it for my hus-
band.” Doing tonglen for all sentient beings doesn’t
have to be separate from doing it for yourself and
your immediate situation. That’s the point that has
been made again and again. When you connect with
your own suffering, reflect that countless beings at
this very moment are feeling exactly what you feel.
Their story line is different, but the feeling of pain is
the same. When you do the practice both for all sen-
tient beings and for yourself, you begin to realize that
self and other are not actually different.
174 Communication from the Heart