try to con the situation, you feel all the ways in which
you try to make yourself look good. You’re seeing
clearly what you do all the time. But you’ve made this
commitment—one you’re not going to run away
from, you’re not going to write off. This time you’re
going to stick with it. Staying there becomes like the
three difficulties. When you’re with the spiritual
friend or even thinking about him or her, you begin to
see neurosis as neurosis. That encourages you to
practice the second difficulty, which is to begin to
apply the teachings. And finally, you long to make
that a way of life. The spiritual friend does not con-
firm your existence but serves as a mirror for you to
see where you’re stuck. The relationship encourages
you to wake up.
The most important thing about the relationship
with the spiritual friend is that it’s basic training for
how you relate to every situation in your life. It’s all
training for you to be grateful to every Juan, and not
just the Juan or Juanita that you call your spiritual
friend. So when your buttons get pushed, you begin
to see that what’s happening is your teacher. When
your cover has been blown, you begin to see that sit-
uation as your teacher. You realize that you know
what to do and can begin to relate directly with that
pain and use it to relate with the pain of all sentient
beings. When you feel inspired and joyful, you can
share that with others and develop a sense of kinship.
***High-Stakes Practice 197