Body Language Secrets A Guide During Courtship & Dating

(^16) BODY LANGUAGE SECRETS Lines, Lies Or The Truth^17
CONFUSING SIGNALS
Women, do not mistake arrogance or snobbish-
ness for confidence. Even more dangerous, beware
of any man who treats you with disdain or con-
tempt. That is not confidence. These guys dislike
women and enjoy hurting them, sometimes even
physically. Pay attention to your intuition. See
photos of arrogance vs confidence in the upcoming
chapter, Courtship Tactics For Men.
Men, it is usually not a good idea to chase any
female for more than a few feet, figuratively, be-
cause she may enjoy running away instead of being
caught, a summary version of Rapo. (To be ex-
plained shortly.) However, she may be playing
Catch Me And I'm Yours. If that's the case, you
must chase at least twice to pass this test of your
sincerity. Much more about tests versus games is
coming up in Resistance., Reluctance And Tests.
IT'S NOT ALL NONVERBAL
Sometimes the first clue that he's lying is his use
of exaggerated nonverbal gestures of sincerity or
confidence. Confirm your suspicion. Be on the alert
for gratuitous verbal reassurances liars often use. /
wouldn't lie to you and Let me be truthful with you
will tip you off. Others: I'm serious, or You can
believe me, plus any other rendition that causes a
bystander to say, "Methinks the [snake] doth protest
too much."
GAME PLAYERS AND MANIPULATORS
Eric Berne, founder of Transactional Analysis, ex-
plained these kinds of people best in his book The
Games People Play.
Some women play Rapo, as in Rape-o. During the
conversation she's relaxed but suggestive and ap-
pears to be eager to "jump in the sack." When the
man proposes they take steps toward that end, she
recoils in horror and protests loudly with some ver-
sion of, "What kind of girl do you think I am?"
To win the biggest prize, she needs an audience.
Her payoff? The Rapo player shows everyone within
earshot that she is a good girl who is erotically
appealing. At the same time, she proves to herself
that she's attractive and desirable without the
danger of emotional and sexual involvement.
Homosexual and impotent men play a similar
game called Cavalier. The player's not going to get
rejected, hurt or exposed because he's not going to
follow through on his charming and gallant act.
The Cavalier leads her on, then when she sug-
gests they take the first step toward a sexual union,
he recoils in horror and says something like, "I'm
not that sort of unrefined fellow."
Just like the Rapo player, the Cavalier needs an
audience. If he's a homosexual, he wants men to
notice him. If impotent, he wants everyone to think
he can perform and that he's attractive sexually.
HANNIBAL AND OTHER CANNIBALS
In Silence Of The Lambs, Anthony Hopkins con-
vinced us all that he was Hannibal The Cannibal.
Skilled actors and experienced liars, such as sales-
people and politicians, can control themselves so
that the vast part of their of their body language is
in accord with their words.
Rapo and Cavalier players, as well as every other
type of manipulator-user of either sex, want sexual
gratification without emotional involvement. Their
trademarks—appearing supremely confident, poised
and relaxed. That's instead of somewhat excited and
nervous as genuine people are.
Another tip-off is that game players often dress
for the part they are playing GQ man or sexpot. Just
remember, smooth talkers are practiced experts. As
always, if it's too good to be true, it ain't.