(^76) BODY LANGUAGE SECRETS
Most people like to have their pictures taken, no
matter how much they protest. Have a camera with
you at all light-hearted gatherings. Don't be an ob-
vious twit and only take photos of the women. Shoot
lots of pictures of everyone. It gives you a chance to
meet and talk with even more guests.
When she's in a shot, ask her, "Would you like to
get a copy of these?" Depending on her reply, you
have options.
Let's say her response, including tone of voice and
body language, translates to, "Jam it!" You say,
"Jim'll have them Saturday if you change your
mind." Ease out of there smoothly. You do not want
other women to notice what happened. Why not?
You'll see later on in a paragraph titled Butterfly
Boys Get Swatted.
Suck it up! Maintain an outward appearance of
confidence and relaxation. Do not go into the re-
jected, dejected mode. You know, that humiliated,
tail-between-the-legs look. Your shoulders droop
and your head is down as you shuffle away. That
body language announces to every intuitive person
in the room what just happened. By now, you do
know which gender the intuitive people are, don't
you?
After you recover, get back to taking pictures.
When another candidate is in a shot, ask, "Would
you like to get a copy of these?" She says, "Uh huh,"
but radiates only moderate interest with her tone of
voice and other nonverbal signals.
You say, "They'll be done Wednesday," as you
smile and offer your hand. When you shake, say,
"Hi! I'm Don, friend of the bride." Her vibrations will
let you know if you say what's just below, or if you
and your twice-dinged ego move on.
Let's pretend that someone's response to your
question about wanting copies is, "Sure!" as her
Meeting Ms Or Mr Right 77
sparkling eyes, and broad smile say, "Gee, you're
kin da cute!"
What to do? Simple, just smile as you offer your
hand and declare, "Hi! Don, friend of the bride."
When the message she sends via her hand matches
her sparkling eyes, you respond with, "Nice to meet
you, Debbie. I work in Anaheim, live over in Whit-
tier," and wait. You just hit the ball into her court.
Sometimes she doesn't notice the ball come over
the net. Sometimes she's seeing if you're as brave as
you are assertive so she just sits there and waits for
you to show her what you're made of. Sometimes
you don't notice that 235 pound boyfriend standing
right behind her.
In the name of optimism, let's say her response is,
"Oh yeah? I live in Fullerton." Hand her your inter-
esting business card as you say, "Here's my number.
Call me at work. I'll meet you somewhere with them
on Thursday or whenever, okay?"
You have The Right Attitude, so leave for now. Go
back in a half an hour. Talk with her. Dance with
her. See what "develops" from those pictures. Yuk,
yuk.
GETTING NOTICED-PART II
Here's another method I discovered by accident,
called, "The Do You Know Him Gambit."
At any social gathering, situate yourself where
you can quietly, and in confidence, say to her, "Do
you know that bald guy's name? I've met him, can't
remember. Don't want to embarrass myself." If she
does know, or doesn't know, thank her, then move
on to the bald guy. Part with, "Wish me luck." Leave
now, but come back later.
I've used this to get her to notice me and as an
opener after signs of interest from her. You can't
lose. It's innocent looking and sounding. She feels
empathy. Everyone's forgotten somebody's name.
nancy kaufman
(Nancy Kaufman)
#1