96 BODY LANGUAGE SECRETSBE AN EQUAL BUT POWERFUL
Explain anything like it's simple and only a mat-
ter of looking it up. You just happen to know this be-
cause you read about it or do it for a living or what-
ever. She, or he, could have known it, too.
Tactfully done, talking about something she's
asked about or wants to learn about is dynamite. It
clearly shows how much better off she'd be dating
you. The way you want her to come away from a
conversation is "Gee, he's the kinda guy I'd lite go
out with, learn how to scuba dive." As opposed to,
"Wow! is he smart."
OVERALL ADVICE
Men, the most dangerous enemy you face is from
within. Your lack of confidence; your too confident,
too aggressive manner; or your lack of aggression.
These are tough to overcome, even with practice,
so the best general strategy is to be unpredictable,
swinging between being nice and being indifferent.
It keeps her off balance and enables you to maintain
an effective perspective on the relationship. Without
the right viewpoint, you are liable to be wrapped
around her finger in a couple of days.
I must stress this once again. With women of any
age, when you're obvious or up front about wanting
to go out with her, there's no longer a challenge or
the excitement of not knowing if you'll make a move
or not. So, when she's certain about your interest,
she convinces herself the outcome is so obvious she
doesn't have to take a chance and make even a safe
date, like just having coffee. It's not Rapo, but the
result is the same.
Pay attention to the signals she's sending you.
You'll know what's going on most of the time. But, if
it feels like she's coming on to you, even when
there's nothing concrete you can point to as evi-
dence, she is. That's what courtship is all about.
Courtship Tactics For Men 97When talking and interacting with her don't
make sexual comments. Don't talk about how great
you are. Let manners and etiquette show. Don't try
to impress her. All other guys try that. She often
deciphers the attempt as, "He wants me. I've got
him."
At the same time, let her see you have attributes
and knowledge she'll benefit from in the near fu-
ture. When it fits, always mention some of the
things you like to do that are different from most
men—attend plays, go the thoroughbred races or
drive to Beverly Hills for Sunday brunch at an ele-
gant restaurant.
Once more, Don't with a capital D, say or do any
of these things to impress her. If she even slightly
suspects you're trying, it ruins everything because it
makes her think she's already got you.
BUTTERFLY BOYS GET SWATTED
A butterfly flits from flower to flower drinking the
nectar. The guy who hits on one woman and then
another soon gets shot down.
Bide your time. Evaluate all the data coming at
you. Do NOT go talk to the first or even the second
woman who smiles at you. Smile and nod. Make a
mental note. Keep your smile friendly and non-
committal. Circulate. Send out your signals. Notice
the signals women are sending you.
Mo' betta go easy, mo' betta go slow.
HAWAIIAN PHILOSOPHY
The woman who sees herself as your second
choice is not interested. She wants to be number
one, just as we all do. Nobody wants to be second
fiddle.
ESSENCE OF THE RIGHT ATTITUDE
During courtship, and later when you're dating,
she must know with her entire being, that you will