110 BODY LANGUAGE SECRETSguard for are signs of nervousness or anxiety. When
he notices any, he must slow down and reassure
her.
He must also be prepared to notice boredom, im-
patience or anger and make appropriate adjust-
ments. Sometimes he must ask her directly to de-
termine if it's the activity that is causing the prob-
lem, such as playing video games in an arcade when
she would prefer just walking along the avenue and
window shopping.
The topic of conversation may be boring, or she
may be restless with the slow service at the restau-
rant. Then again, he may be dominating the conver-
sation by regaling her with tales of his grand ex-
ploits.
SIGNS OF BOREDOM
Looking at wristwatch Doodling
Asking what time it is Drumming fingertips
Tapping foot Swinging leg
Blank stare Head in hand
Drooped eyelids Hand on side of face or head
SUSTAINED VERBAL INTERCOURSE
Men and women, keep the conversation light and
pleasant. Avoid controversial subjects. Reveal your
likes and dislikes in movies, sports, food, travel,
drinks, games, and such. Arranging a second date is
much easier after finding out where you two fit to-
gether. Work into the conversation things you like
to do and places you like to go.
Men, when she reciprocates, ask some questions,
then add, "That sounds like it might be fun. Let's go
there sometime" and see what her reaction is. Don't
firm it up even when she's very positive. Wait.
If she knows how to do something that you don't,
see if she'd like to teach you, sometime. If she knows
of an interesting restaurant, again say, "It might beDating 111fun to go there sometime."
SET UP A SECOND DATE
Men, if she asks you with a time and day, fine,
she's serious. Go ahead and make a date. But when
she asks casually, she may be testing. So, say, "That
sounds like fun. Let me check my schedule. I'll call
you."
Don't appear to have an open calendar or to be
willing to shift things around to fit her offer. You're
a man, a busy powerful man. Don't accommodate
your life to anyone's schedule. You're the catch here.
You have The Right Attitude.
Want to ruin everything? Say or suggest or imply:
"When can we get together again?" or, "When will I
see you again?" or "Let's do this again sometime
soon." Why? Because you're chasing her, and that
destroys the attraction of The Right Attitude.
Do let her know in plain English you are having
fun talking with, and being with her. But don't ask
for a second date.
A SECOND DATE, MAYBE
For her to want a second date with you, the first
date has to be a great experience. Have fun to-
gether. You want her to think, That was great. He's
fun. Wonder why he didn't even try to kiss me good
night? Maybe he doesn't like me.
Men, even if something's been semi-setup, wait a
few days, then call and talk for a while. See how the
vibrations are. If they're positive, suggest, don't ask
for, a non-romantic date. If she's negative, sit back
and wait for her to call you. It'll be a long wait, like
the rest of your life.
However, when she's neutral, don't ask, suggest a
non-romantic date. When she declines with a real-
istic-sounding excuse, wait a week or more then try
once more. If she still has an excuse, see above re-