Body Language Secrets A Guide During Courtship & Dating

(Nancy Kaufman) #1

(^118) BODY LANGUAGE SECRETS
the person not the one beside him or her. When the
group is standing and conversing, put yourself on
the opposite side so you are face to face with your
potential beloved.
SQUAT DOWN TO BECOME EQUAL
When you meet someone who is sitting, shake
hands from the standing position, then squat down
to talk. If you continue to stand, the person feels un-
comfortable looking up and you are intimidating by
being taller. After a few minutes, if the vibes are
good, ask "Mind if I sit there and join you?"
SPOTTING GAME-PLAYERS
Women, look for lack of congruence, slickness or
over-the-top self-confidence. Men, look for smooth-
ness and lack of fear. Remember, game players often
dress the part.
PLAY IS FOREPLAY
Women, when you were young, a boy liked you if
he pushed you into the swimming pool or chased you
with a bug. Today, when a boy, no matter his age, is
interested and he does not know how to tell you, he
does something similar.
When an adult male teases or plays with you in a
good-hearted manner, consider it foreplay. But,
there are some men who tease in a mean, hurtful
manner, then try to blame it on you when you take
offense. They usually say, "What's the matter with
you? I was only joking around." Why? Because they
are bleepholes.
Men, free-spirited women of all ages also play and
tease to initiate courtship. Pay attention.
WIDE WITH DELIGHT
When we see something we like, our pupils dilate
to let more of the lovely sight reach our brains. This
reaction is involuntary, beyond everyone's control.
Several well-known tests have demonstrated how
Helpful Hints 119
reliable this sign is.
In the most famous test, duplicate photographs of
a woman's face were shown to men. The men were
asked which shot they preferred. More than 90 per-
cent of the men selected the picture in which the
woman's pupils had been air brushed to be slightly
larger. When asked why they preferred that picture,
not a single man could identify the difference.
During courtship, one of the surest signs of inter-
est is dilated pupils but it's the hardest to become
aware of. It's a skill that can be learned if you focus
on the other person's eyes. Of course, you can't ap-
pear to be staring or gawking.
In another notable experiment, secret, extremely
close-up movies were made of men's eyes as they
flipped through a stack of photographs. The pictures
were placed upside down and included scenic views,
children at play, architecture and Playboy center-
folds. Every man's pupils nearly doubled in size
when he turned over a photo and confronted a nude
beauty.
In poker, if you are dealt a probable winning
hand such as a full house, when peeking at the
cards, your pupils involuntarily widen to let in that
beautiful sight. When expert poker players notice
this from across the table they fold their hand to
prevent you from winning a bigger pot.
At the World Championship of Poker, shown on
ESPN, most professional gamblers wear dark glas-
ses and a hat pulled low over their brow when seat-
ed at the table to prevent opponents from seeing
their eyes.
FOR WOMEN WHO DON'T SMILE
If it's hard for you to make eye contact and smile,
you must learn to do it. As with every other skill
you've learned and perfected, it takes practice. Don't
begin with men you want attention from. Begin with

Free download pdf