That night on the park bench God used my boyfriend to begin
healing the wounds of my childhood pain. The truth about me
didn’t change how Dirk viewed me or loved me. If anything, he
fell more in love with me because I allowed myself to finally tear
down the wall I had built around my heart trying to protect
myself from any further pain or rejection. I felt as if I had lived a
life with constant accusers telling me how stupid I was. I was
tired of listening to how I would not amount to anything if
everyone knew the real truth about me. Once I opened up and
shared my truth, those voices were finally silenced.
One of my favorite stories in the Bible is found in John 8. It is
the story about Jesus forgiving the adulterous woman. The
teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought a woman to the
feet of Jesus. They demanded that Jesus deal with her because
of her great sin. Yet Jesus chose to extend grace and mercy to
her instead, lifting her head for once in her life and speaking
words of encouragement and love over her. That’s how I felt
that night. Though the pain I had experienced was not due to
any sin in my life, the result was the same. I felt unworthy,
shameful, and broken, and I needed someone to lift my head
and speak words of encouragement, love, and grace over me.
That evening was a turning point in my life. I was finally brave
enough to let Dirk see the hurt and pain I had been carrying for
years, and when he did, he responded lovingly, lifting my head
and offering words of love, acceptance, and compassion. I
learned that night that I don’t have to be perfect to be loved
and accepted by another.
I have chosen to share this very personal, private story with
you, sweet sister, with the hope that you, too, will see that you
don’t have to be perfect to be perfectly loved by God. Christ