342 Mediated Publics
Virtual life is not entirely fulfilling but it is an enjoyable life.
Part of the personality is given a chance to appear without the
presence of the body ... even though, ultimately, a big part of
the self comes out through writings and thoughts. With the
passage of time, the virtual personality conforms to the real
personality. This virtual life has had a spectacular effect on
my real life. In fact, this real “me” is no longer the same real
“me” as before. I am pleased with this virtual “me” and with
the effect it has had on the real “me,” and I have all of you to
thank. I want to say that the opportunity to reveal this virtual
personality was made possible by this space. I have learned
and grown a great deal in these past two years. ... I sometimes
don’t recognize myself. ... It’s as if somebody else was breath-
ing inside me. The one who was imprisoned in this body for
years has now, because of your kind sting, been released.
(Spectral narcissism, 24 January 2004, http://www.shabah.ir/
archives/000985.php)s trend of discovering new layers of self is especially important Thi
for Iranian women. Sayeh, “Shadow,” (a 32-year-old woman) considers
that four years of writing in virtual space has helped her to discover the
hidden and repressed parts of herself and to reveal them in physical space:
My weblog has changed as I have changed. Some bloggers
know from their first post what they want to do with their
blog, but I did not know. I entered into this unknown world
without knowing where I was going. Under a fake identity, I
showed in my weblog the parts of me which I would not reveal
in public, the parts which were nostalgic, frank and emotional.
Then I discovered that I like very much this part of me and I
decided to develop it in myself. This part becomes then all of
me, I don’t hide it anymore, and now everybody knows that
Sayeh is Katy, even if the consequences are not always easy for
me. Being a woman blogger in Iran disturbs many people and
writing about what is not considered decent in the common
sense is even more disturbing. (www.sayeh.nevesht.com)