Life Skills & Leadership: Unit 2, Session 2: Positive Communication | Page 22 of 127Note: Use any other culturally appropriate example where youth of the same approximate status might be in conflict, such
as a sister who does not take her turn helping in the kitchen or a friend who never lets others decide which fun activity to
do.- Encourage participants to share some of their reactions to this situation.
“From what you are telling me, it’s clear that not only would you have strong feelings (anger,
frustration, resentment, etc.), but you would have an opinion about your brother (he’s lazy,
irresponsible, inconsiderate, etc.). And it sounds like some of the things you’d like to say to him could
start an argument!“How could you get your brother to help with chores without an argument?”- After a few participants have answered, distribute Handout 2: I Statements: a Communication Tool,
and show Flip chart 3: I Statements. Say:
“Another thing that makes communication complicated is our own feelings. If we can separate the
person’s actions from our feelings, we can often have more positive communication. You can do this by
making an ‘I Statement.’ Compare these two statements:‘When you did not clean the kitchen yesterday, I felt angry. I would like you to take your turn
today. OK?’
‘You’re so lazy! You never clean the kitchen! You better do it today, or else!’Ask:What is the action that is causing a problem?
How does the person speaking feel about the problem?
Which statement follows the format of I Statements?
Which statement is more likely to have a positive outcome?C. Summary
Summarize by saying:
“When we know more about direct and indirect communication, as well as how to make I Statements,
we can begin to take control of how we communicate to make a more positive outcome.”III. Practice (30 minutes)
Materials:
Handout 3: Change the Sentence
Handout 4: I Statement Practice
Trainer Material 1: Suggestions for I Statement Practice