Life Skills and Leadership Manual - Peace Corps

Life Skills & Leadership: Unit 1, Session 3: Building Self-Confidence | Page 33 of 93

IV. Application (25 minutes)

Materials:
Handout 1: Put-Down, Turn Around

A. Doomed to Failure ... Or Not! (Continued)
Participants describe at least two examples of language and behaviors that “build up” confidence or “put-
down” confidence.

1. Explain how to change negative “put-downs” and thoughts into “buildups.” Say:

“When someone gives us a put-down, it’s like a storm blowing debris or trash on our house. We can

feel sad or angry that our house was damaged or we can get a hammer and paint and begin repairs.

What are some ways you can build up your confidence level after a put-down?”

2. Take a few ideas from participants as examples. Distribute Handout 1: Put-Down, Turn Around. Say:

“It helps to take a closer look at your negative thought patterns to check out whether or not they are

true. When you are in a good mood and when you have a positive attitude about yourself, ask yourself

the following questions about each negative thought you have noticed:

Note: Point out the following questions on the handout. Participants can also circle words they hear you say.

“Is this message really true?

Would a kind person say this to another person? If not, why am I saying it to myself?

What do I get out of thinking this thought? If it makes me feel badly about myself, why not stop

thinking it?

“The next step in this process is to develop positive statements you can say to yourself to replace these

negative thoughts whenever you notice yourself thinking them. You can't think two thoughts at the

same time. So, when you are thinking a positive thought about yourself, you can't be thinking a

negative one. In developing these thoughts, use positive words like happy, peaceful, loving,

enthusiastic, friendly and good.”

“Avoid using negative words, such as worried, frightened, upset, tired, bored, not, never, can't.

Don't make a statement like ‘I am not going to worry anymore.’ Instead, say, ‘I focus on the

positive’ or whatever feels right to you.

Substitute ‘it would be nice if’ for ‘should.’

Always use the present tense, e.g., ‘I am healthy, I am well, I am happy, I have a good job, I am

succeeding at school ...’ as if the condition already exists.

Use I, me, or your own name.”

Note: From: Curie, Charles G. and Arons, Bernard S., Building Self-Esteem: A Self-Help Guide, Substance Abuse and Mental

Health Services Administration, Center for Mental Health Services, SMA-3715.

http://studentservices.fgcu.edu/Counseling/Files/Building_Self.pdf