© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.Women want to find more mystical meaning in the universe. Women are not logical; they
are spiritual and not like us. Men want to find order; women need to find meaning. This is a
critical distinction you must understand.
What happens in many relationships is that the man does not understand why the
woman is always trying to “read into” things, or always trying to find some alternate meaning.
They drive us crazy with their interpretations, when – as Freud once said – “Sometimes a cigar
is ... just a cigar.”
STROKED AND UN-STROKED....................................................................................................................
Though there are many kinds of women, as many stars as there are in the night sky,
there is a dynamic to watch for with this particular classification. There are two camps a woman
generally originates from, starting in those formative years of their childhood. This delineation,
while not perfect, gives you an important indicator for your relationship. These two kinds of
women are Stroked and Un-stroked.
This analysis can also translate into many other splits of the female persona, but I
believe these two sum up the essence of their behavior. (And their behavior is all that we really
care about, isn’t it?)
I used to approach women as if they were all the same, but the reality is that even if they
are alike more ways than they are different, we need to have some flexibility in our approach to
get results. Allow me explain these two types:
STROKED
This woman got plenty of praise and adoring attention as a kid. She was cute enough or
loved enough to have established a good sense of self-esteem, and she doesn’t suffer for
adoration. As an adult, she likes hearing a compliment, but she responds more when she
doesn’t get the immediate gratification from a man. She responds very clearly to challenge. She
still has holes and a deficit in her self-esteem (what woman or man does not?) but overall she is
a bit cocky of her appearance and control over men. She occasionally plays the ‘games’ we’re
so used to. Testing. Controlling. Hard-to-get. Etc.
UN-STROKED
This woman never got her fair share of attention and words of praise, either by family or
friends (or an ex). She sought to replace it as she got older, but never reclaimed that sense of
esteem that she so desires. As an adult, she is desperate for recognition, in any way it can be
had. She responds to men’s attention and compliments, and this appreciation can often be
addictive. If it is given and then taken away, she would sell her mother into slavery to get it back.
(Also, some of these girls can border on being damaged goods. Frequently, their relationship
with one of their parents is toxic, and they’re still trying to obtain his/her respect and love, and
they will to their dying day.)
The Stroked tend to be givers, when provoked enough and managed through the
standard strategies of the Dynamic Man. They have a surplus of love energy in them, ready to