© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.Joe will suffer like this until he stops, pauses, confronts the Truth that he’s got to change
his behavior and start listening to improve his situation, and makes those changes. But if your
ego is too easily bruised, or your self-esteem is down in the crapper, it will always be easier to
think like Joe, that the world is against you, rather than face the fact that you need to learn a
new skill.
At the risk of sounding like one of the Pundits, I propose that the first place you should
start working be on your own self-esteem. This will be the topic of the first section. The reason
this is so important is that ultimately your happiness is not dependent on having a woman in
your life. It’s not her, really; it’s how she makes you feel about yourself. The reverse is also true,
as we’ll explore in female psychology review. The more you feel good about yourself before you
start meeting and dating women, the more success you’ll have, and the better prepared you’ll
be for when things get difficult.
There’s the joke about the drunken guy who calls up his ex-girlfriend at 2:00 AM and
tells her how he hates her, she’s a bitch, an evil soul-stealer ... but there’s still a chance if she
wants to try again.
Don’t be him.
THE VICIOUS CYCLE OF MALE SEX DESIRE.................................................................................................
Why do men give up all their power to women for sex? If you can understand the vicious
cycle that unravels men’s posture and confidence, you can overcome this limiting belief and
have enduring success with women.
The hungry never get fed ... yet, those who do not want always have plenty.Think about your patterns with women for a moment. If a man has been experiencing a
lot of pain and little success, his thoughts are only that he wants dates and sex with women, and
the more he desires it, the more it eludes him. The reason is simply because the more men
want and obsess over getting women, the less they get.
The reverse situation is where you want to be, where you almost never think about when
you’ll get a date or have sex next, and that’s when you’ll be able to get it more. You only want
sex so badly because you aren’t getting it. This begins the vicious cycle of desire, moving in too
fast and too strong, and subsequently not getting any, and the desire bumps up a notch.
And so on.
Let me give you an idea of what it’s like from the other side. The man who is getting
regular dates without all the front-loading of expectations and desires relaxes enough to appear
desirable to women. As a result, more women are interested and give him a chance. He gets
more relationship and sex needs satisfied, and he never ends up having to need sex. It already
wants him. He isn’t hungry, so he gets fed.
What’s the trick here? How does a man get from one side of this cycle (desire-need-
frustration-more desire) to the other?
You have to break the cycle and jump over. You have to make what is known as a
cognitive leap, where you delay your gratification (not bury it or deny it, just store it away for a