© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.process that will improve your skills and ensure the widest selection of possible mates. And it
may not come from a genuine desire to be in a relationship but rather a desire to not be in the
dating scene.
You must learn to love being single.Only with this attitude will you ensure that you do not fall into this trap. You’ve got to
have such a compelling life that a woman is a fine addition, not the lone pitiful reason for your
existence. The way to cultivate this attitude is to understand your situation (get knowledge), do
enough of the right things based on this knowledge (take action), and experience success. You
need to reward your nervous system for learning these new habits, and you will be the man you
always wanted to be.
WHAT IS YOUR GOAL? ...............................................................................................................................
You need to determine your current dating goal before you go any further. What is it that
you want from your interaction with women?
- Friendship? Someone to talk to or do things with?
- Romance? The thrill of the chase?
- Sex?
- A short-term or long-term relationship?
- Casual dating with many girlfriends?
- Marriage?
You need to know what you want up front so that you do not mislead either yourself or
the women you date. If you only want casual dating, you have to be cognizant of your goal and
do only the things that a man would do for a woman he was interested in dating – not marrying
- such as resisting the urge to send poetry and flowers every week. Your goal will also affect
your planning and strategies as you get phone numbers and set your dates each week. (We’ll
cover this in more detail in the planning section.) Your goal keeps you on track, like a homing
mechanism.
Be careful of using others’ goals as your own. You might think you want to be like a rock
star, sleeping with a porn star, but really think that through. There is a proverb that the worst
curse you can place on a man is to give him what he thinks he wishes for most.
SHADES OF GRAY, NOT BLACK-AND-WHITE................................................................................................
Please keep in mind that while I categorize and break things down into fundamentals,
the whole is really much more than a sum of its parts. The only way to understand something is
to find some fundamental essence that can be understood and is generally accepted as true.
From there you can build more sophisticated understanding as you see the various parts at
work, inter-relating. This is especially the case with women and dating.