© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.The information that is given here is divulged with the understanding that nothing is
black-and-white. Real life women are three-dimensional, with various shades of gray. You have
to understand what is black and what is white before you can see the different variations of gray
within. That is where these principles start.
Another part of this understanding is that there will be circumstances that will be difficult
for you to overcome to make radical changes in your approach to women. Sometimes these are
social limitations, like your peer group. Sometimes they are family issues, such as how you
were brought up and the expectations placed upon you there. I would be ignorant to tell you to
“just change” if there are factors underlying your current situation that you have difficulty
changing. What I will give you is the understanding you need to begin working towards your
goal and start the process of change from the inside as well as the outside.
THE MYTH OF GAME PLAYING....................................................................................................................
Here’s the big question I hear all the time at this point:“But, isn’t this game playing? Manipulation? Do I have to be fake? Why can’t I leave love
to chance? Doesn’t this take all the romance and fun out of dating?”Funny enough, it’s usually women who say these things. Men are usually all too eager to
hear about ways to take some control of this speeding wreck called dating and not give up all
control to the woman. But, even after hearing these strategies, and seeing it as the Truth, their
inner voice starts to second guess them, and men start to ask the same questions. They’re just
scared that women will think of them as fake, manipulative, or insincere. At the core of this,
they’re really afraid of hurting women. Ultimately, men only wish they knew what to do when it
comes to dating and women.
So why are women so hung up on the fear of dating strategies? First, women are
emotionally attached to the fairytale romance part of the process, and they thrive on the drama
of dating. Women know on an intuitive level that they are more in command of the dating
process since these strategies are already built into their psychology. They don’t understand
that they are already using strategies and tactics on men every day, whether as defenses or as
a method to achieve control.
Men, who are already expected to take on the brunt of the risks and initiation in dating,
want some kind of game plan to work with. They’re tired of making the same mistakes and
wondering why women have all the power in the dating world.
To answer the question, Is this game playing? I offer you the following:
- As I said before, women are using strategies on you every step of the way. Men
need the same kind of advantages. Women started out as little girls in slumber
parties talking about boys and what they did on dates, collaborating and learning.
They read “Teen” and “Cosmopolitan” with relationship quizzes and advice. Women
exchange information more freely on the topic of relationships than guys ever do. If
something was or wasn’t working, they would talk about it. Boys never did, due to
pride, ego, whatever. With that kind of schooling, you didn’t stand a chance,