The Dating Black book

© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –

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Trait 3: Sense of Humor

The flip side is that if you do the things that LoserBoys do, you will get those results, too.
If you eat donuts like Chris Farley did, you’re going to end up looking like him ... or even ending
like him.

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.

The other part of self-discipline is keeping a level of control over your thoughts and
actions when you’re with a woman. There are certain behaviors and patterns that are easy to
fall into if you aren’t trained to recognize them, and before you know it, your game will be over
before the quarter is flipped.

Stimulus 



 PAUSE/THINK 



 Response

Reacting to a woman’s actions or words is the biggest of these mistakes. When you
react, you go straight from Stimulus (something she said or did) to Response (freaking out,
yelling, inappropriate comment). As human beings, we’re gifted with the ability to do something
that animals are not capable of: We can insert a pause between the stimulus and response. In
that pause, you also have the ability to think.
When you can demonstrate the ability to stop and reason, you not only make better
decisions for yourself, you show a consistency and rationality that women find attractive. This
pause will also give you the chance to avoid her testing you and evoking your anger. From time
to time, a woman will do things to get you to react. It’s a control mechanism, and once you fall
prey to it, she will know how to manipulate your anger if she wants to. Your ability to avoid this
reaction is a challenge to women, and it increases their attraction.
The key here is to NOT react to her disposition or behavior. Act independent of it. If she
snaps at you as if she has no time for your antics, smile at her and wink, saying, "You know how
to charm a guy, I’ll give you that." If she persists in bitchiness, you walk away, with a polite,
"Gotta go. Have a better night."
Some women hold up a cold exterior to see how you’ll react to it. It’s a test. It’s
intimidating, and they KNOW it. It establishes early on if you’re the type who needs a woman’s
approval to be comfortable. It’s a subtly coercive maneuver that many men fall into reacting to
rather than acting independent from.

The ability to make a woman laugh is probably your number one asset. I’ve gotten
girlfriends – and laid – more just by using this one simple trait alone, and it’s amazing just how
far you can go with it. We all want to laugh, and stable, sane women love to laugh.
If you don’t have a well-developed funny bone, now is the time to work on it. Consider
this: Not very many people are funny. I’ve gone to stand-up routines where I sat there feeling
horribly embarrassed for this guy and his feeble attempt at comedy. I realized that true comedy,
on the level of Eddie Murphy or Robin Williams, is pretty rare. So don’t feel bad at all if you don’t