© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.Scary? Harsh? Perhaps. These are not the most romantic of images, but that’s not what
you need right now. Romantic illusions abound in the first few months of dating, and anything
you can do to keep your head together will help keep you from fooling yourself and creating
more attraction-lowering problems. You’ll have plenty of time to indulge in starry-eyed-dreaming
along the way, but your dreaming should be about repeating the thrill of success you felt on your
last date, not a fantasy of what might be.
She’s not better than you. Doesn’t knowing this suddenly make it a piece of cake to
walk over and get her phone number?
A positive outlook is a major portion of your overall attitude. It’s an overall health
indicator of a person, since it reflects their predominant life philosophy. It’s a bit corny to use the
old “glass is half empty/full” analogy anymore (probably because we’re all so cynical that even
the best sayings are rejected if they’re heard more than once.) I may not be able to convince
you that a positive attitude is more realistic than a negative one, but I do have a very
overwhelming reason why you cannot indulge in negative attitudes or pessimism:
You don’t know enough to be pessimistic.Pessimism is based largely on the false assumption that you know enough about the
future to make a judgment about it. We all want to feel like we’re superior, and one of the ways
we do that is to make deductive leaps so that we can say, “I told you so” later on. Pessimism is
like that. You assume the worst, and when someone tells you it didn’t work out the way they’d
expected (even if they learned something in the process), the negative guy starts in with how he
“knew it all along.”
In reality, no one knows the future. We all want to base our expectations of the future on
the past, but – just like the prospectus for a mutual fund says – “past performance is not an
indicator of future performance.” Performance could be great; or it might really suck. The point is
that there is no more probability that it will suck than not. All things being equal, you can always
choose the outlook that life will do its best for you, or its worst.
I choose the best.
Your attitude will determine your success, and not just in relationships and dating.
Attitude ultimately charts your course for the destinations you choose in life. Don’t
underestimate the value and importance of this trait.
LoserBoy: See, I told you she wouldn’t give you
her phone number. Why did you have to try
anyway? You should listen to me more.