© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.is a numbers game. You must realize that it’s easier to change yourself than
the rest of the world.)The sheer act of writing this information down in as much detail as you can muster will
create an image in your subconscious mind that will help you achieve this goal. Be specific and
realistic. And have the self-discipline to track your results, and hold yourself to your goals.
Create a strategy to reach this goal (the “what will you do” part listed above) and then plan out
your tactics for each step along the way and you will be assured success.
I’ve included a planning worksheet as a resource for you to at least begin the process of
deciding what you want. These are the starting criteria you should be thinking about before you
decide to get involved in a long-term relationship. If you are just looking to date and have no
intentions of a relationship, you might keep these in the back of your head as you gain
experience. You might not have dated enough women to understand what priority you place on
certain elements, and the more you meet and date, the more you’ll be able to see what works
and what does not work for you.
Your goal is your compass for your actions. Always remember this, because along the
way you will be very tempted to go off course – to get in arguments, buy her gifts, etc. – and
remembering your goal for your dating will keep you from making mistakes. Always think to
yourself: Do I want to be right, or do I want to get what I want?
Please also be sure to not confuse needs with wants. In Truth, we need very little in life,
and we tend to believe we need many of our wants. Needs are great manipulators, because
they make you believe you can’t do without them. When you define your essential traits in a
woman, there are some that you will need (the must-haves) and those you only want (the nice-
to-haves.) Take the time to look at these requirements with an objective eye, and make sure
you’re not looking for traits in her solely to fill in gaps in your own feelings of self-confidence, or
other areas where you are primarily responsible for development.
Once again: A woman is a valuable addition to your life, but she is not there to fill in for
your shortcomings.
THE WOMAN YOU WANT............................................................................................................................
There are characteristics of a woman that are more conducive to a relationship, and
these are fairly universal. While I realize that there are unhealthy couples out there that thrive off
unnecessary drama and dysfunction, I will highlight the questions that normal guys like you and
me need to ask in your search. You’ll find that you will be much happier in the long run if you
make these a priority. (See also “The Woman You Want.”)
Low-Maintenance: You want to have as little grief as possible if you’re going to have a
woman around for any period of time. Relationships are hard enough without adding more
challenges into the mix.
Flexibility is the primary trait of the low-maintenance woman. Does she need a lot of
coddling or constant attention to keep her happy?
Does she communicate effectively, meaning no nagging or complaining? Does she
communicate her needs rather than expecting you to read her mind?