© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information. Is she competent? Can she cope with life on her own, or is she looking for a stable
man to keep her level?Integrity:
You have to be able to trust the woman you choose to stay with. If she is
untrustworthy, you’ll never be able to feel comfortable around her, and especially
when you’re not around her.
Is she honest? If she has a tendency to stretch or alter the truth to suit her, you will
always feel as if you’re on shaky ground.Respect:
Does she treat you as an equal?
Does she try to control or otherwise rule the relationship?
Does she trust you?Good Attitude:
Is she a giver or a taker? Does she seem as concerned about your well being as her
own?
Does she manipulate you or others?
Is she growing as a person? Does she work on the relationship as hard as you?
Is she stable?
Does she have a positive outlook? There’s nothing more draining and soul-sucking
than being with someone who sees everything in life as a problem or a reason to cry
or bitch at you.
A compatible sex drive: Does she want sex about as frequently as you do?Every woman you meet and date should be put on an eight-week probation period. If
you see any yellow or red flags, you may need to extend the period. Until she gets through her
probation, proving her ability to meet your requirements, you are watchful and wary of her
actions. You are not going to “fall” for her until you can be sure that she is a good candidate.
Any large issues you have while dating or are in courtship will NEVER get better by getting
married or in moving in together. In fact, most will get worse. Make sure you resolve red flags
before further commitment.
I know that all the Nice Guys out there are saying, “But it’s better to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all...” “Love is risking...” and a thousand other platitudes. I actually
do believe in most of the romantic ideals, but the Truth is that most men (and women) don’t
have the emotional reserves to risk themselves too far, too many times. You don’t invest more
than you can afford to lose, or you will wind up bitter and dysfunctional in whatever relationship
you end up in. Yes, you can and should risk in order to further your romantic situation – it is a
necessity. But don’t overextend your credit! The world is full of emotionally bankrupt people, and
you have to avoid this trap.