The Dating Black book

(Dana P.) #1
© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.

MEET ......................................................................................................................................................


Too many men sit at home hoping that the right lady will just come knocking at their
door. Oh, sure, they don’t say that, but how else can you explain the illusion that just by sitting
at home and watching “Scrubs” repeats, they are actually part of the dating process? This may
come as a shock, but you’re going to have to get off your ass. You don’t find job candidates
without advertising, or at the very least, doing some networking.


During this stage of the process, you need to focus on getting near as many women as
you can (in your desired demographic), say hello, get her curious, get her phone number
(and/or email address), and leave before you can mess it up. You see, you can’t know on sight
whether a gal will be right for you, or even if she’s interested, but you can control one factor
more than any other: How many women you encounter. You can make this number large, or it
can be small.
Guess where the most success is? Guess where you’ll learn more?
Start thinking BIG.


Your strategic plan is simple here. First, go where the women are. This could be a bar,
or a yoga class, or a bookstore, or a cooking class. Wherever, just get there. You can’t meet
women unless you get within speaking distance of them. Again, sit down with that master plan
of yours and start listing out all the places you can go to meet women. I submit that you
probably encounter more eligible women in the course of a day than you recognize. Open your
awareness to the opportunities surrounding you at work, while you’re shopping, standing on a
street corner, or just overhearing a conversation.


Introduction .........................................................................................................................................


(Or, “How I Learned To Stop Fearing Women And Grew A Spine.”)


The toughest part about the whole dating scene is the initial introduction. No doubt at all.
All the questions I see revolve around the dating equivalent of cold calling. There are many
viewpoints to put this in perspective for you, but I’m going to say that ultimately the only way to
get rid of this fear is to stop imagining all possible outcomes before you actually walk up to
her and talk to her. Your beliefs are what limit you, and those have to be questioned along the
way. If you aren’t meeting women because of intimidation, you haven’t learned this simple Truth
yet:


When you fail to act, you are already losing by default.

When you fully realize that by not getting up and going over, and you then associate an
appropriate amount of pain to it (the pain of going home with no phone numbers, the pain of
another empty session of masturbation) you will then take action.


Knowledge  turns into understanding.
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