The Dating Black book

(Dana P.) #1
© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.

Motivation is the spark of energy added to the catalyst. It’s anger, it’s disgust, it’s
frustration ... it’s whatever energy you find in yourself to finally change to get what you want.


Understanding, when added to motivation  turns into action.

And action will change your life.

Your life is not shaped by circumstance, it’s shaped by ACTION.

Acclimation Training ...........................................................................................................................


The best method I’ve found to get through this particular pain barrier is to work your way
through it, quickly and consistently, by starting with what you can do easily and progressing to
the goal. It’s a form of systematic desensitization, and it works by exposing yourself to an
increasing level of difficult situations. All you should care about is that it’s the best way to
overcome your biggest hurdle. You can do this in as little as a day – if you’re really motivated –
but I recommend that you practice this for at least 21 days to make it a habit.


Step 1: Do what you can do


Take a look at your abilities right now. Are you excruciatingly shy? Do you have trouble
speaking up when placing your order at the drive-thru? The best place for most of us to start is
by making simple and consistent eye contact. This doesn’t mean you even have to do it with
women initially, either. Try keeping strong eye contact with your dog, then work on keeping it
with the salespeople you encounter. Then work up to the guy at the front desk at the place
where you work. Then with your peers and associates. Next, try locking eyes with women you
pass on the street. Then, work your way up to increasing the amount of time you hold that
contact.
Why is eye contact so important? First, strong (not freaky-psycho-scary) eye contact is
an indication of dominant, confident behavior. Second, you’ll notice that so few people can
maintain any kind of eye contact back. Third, inconsistent eye contact is an indicator of insecure
and possibly untrustworthy character. Fourth, your eyes can communicate an incredible amount
of information, and is a short cut to female responsiveness. When you lock eyes with a woman,
you’re saying, “I’m interested.”
You’ll find that the more you do this, the easier it gets. It really, truly does get easy.


Step 2: Do what you want to do


This step is about stretching yourself into taking more risks with women. You branch out
a little from the safe zone and into slightly more challenging areas – but only slightly.

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