© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.Stretch from just meeting eyes to smiling at women as you pass them on the street.
Many will smile back. Some won’t. It’s not important; it just goes with the territory. What is
important is that you interpret this to yourself correctly. You might think that just because a
woman doesn’t smile back that she a) thinks you’re weird, b) is repulsed by you, c) knows what
you’re up to, you Bad Man.
The Truth is that if she doesn’t smile, it’s her issue. Maybe she’s got a bad hemorrhoid
problem, or her mother is coming over for dinner, or her car is in the shop. In no way is this a
reflection of you.
Flirting with salespeople is a great start. Here’s why:- Most retail salespeople are female, so you’ll have an ample supply.
- They’re friendly and responsive. Even if it’s only to sell you something, they’ll
respond to you. They’re a good positive example to keep you from bumming out. - There is no-risk. You don’t have to take this anywhere, if you don’t want. You just
leave when you’ve had enough. - You can stretch this into some great opportunities by going to stores most men
wouldn’t be caught dead in on their own, like Victoria’s Secret. Your excuse is that
you’re shopping for a friend, or an in-law. - You can always branch out from flirting with the salespeople to flirting with the
customers.
Another step toward comfort in the meeting process is to start talking with women you
have no intention of dating. As before, the risk is nonexistent – if they don’t play, then you
haven’t lost anything. Doing this without an expected outcome is actually quite an important
step, because it will show you the difference in your behavior that you exhibit when the woman
is someone you want versus one you don’t want. You might think your attitude is the same, but
it’s drastically different. It’s this difference that will give you your first a-ha! moment when you
understand what’s going on. (Remember: ABF!)
It’s also very easy to engage women when you do it in passing. Just a quick compliment
- “Nice shoes” or “I like that dress” – as you pass by someone or get off an elevator lets you get
comfortable putting out your feelers, and then walk away. No obligation. No chance for rejection.
It’s like throwing out flyers at people, not worrying if they’re catching them or not.
You’re free to include women you work with as part of this “chatting up” project, since
they’re great to work on. You get a chance to see them every day and try something new. I will
highly recommend, however, that you do not date or get romantically involved with co-workers,
unless they are far removed from you (i.e., another department or building.)
Don’t be surprised if the women you talk to start becoming interested and attracted to
you. It does happen all the time. What’s going on here is that the mannerisms and aloof
(challenging) approach you take with them is exactly what most women respond to. You should
strive to make all your contacts with attractive women ride the fine line of showing some interest
and acting as if you were not really interested at all.
(Performance Note: What you’re doing different here is not crowding them or coming on
too strong, and giving them the space they need to come toward you a little. More on this later.)