© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.You need to be able to exit the conversation quickly and comfortably for you both. Don’t
let conversations just peter off into a dead zone. You need to have a confident close, something
to say to finish it off and get out of there. If it helps, treat this like a Navy Seals mission:
Review mission goal: Get phone number.
Observe terrain.
Isolate target.
Approach and engage.
Take action - Get number.
Disengage target. Arrange for extraction.
Have a beer with the troops back at HQ while getting ready for the next mission.
Do yourself a favor and start planning for your extraction now, or crash and burn later.Email ...................................................................................................................................................
On the topic of e-mail, I don’t see any reason why you can’t ask for her email address. It
can be a lot less formidable for you to ask for it, and for a woman to give that information to you,
but I still encourage getting her phone number if you can. Tell her to write that down for you
while she’s writing her email. She’ll do it. You should always have a pen with you that you can
give to her to write her name and number down. Don’t use a Palm Pilot or your cell phone, or
any other high-tech method. It’s just like having the customer sign a contract: You hand her the
pen and paper, and you tell her to write it down. Don’t make up nervous chitchat to fill in the
uncomfortable silence. (This is a big one!) You are waiting for a decision from her – the decision
to give you an opportunity to continue this. Once she decides, another part of her mind will have
to back up her decision and justify it. (See the psychological factor of cognitive dissonance later
in the book.) If she gives it to you, you smile, and leave. Once you get the phone number, you
don’t hang around. Get out of there.
I tend to prefer the phone number, since it shows a more definite interest level, but
others swear that getting the email is easier for “cold” (total stranger) contacts, since it’s a lot
less imposing and scary initially.
Remember: Most people are waiting to be told what to do. Don’t fear being a leader,
rejoice in it. Ask for what you want and you’ll probably get it.
An easy exit line: “I’d like to stay and talk, but I’ve got to get back to my friends. It was
nice talking to you.” Walk away.
Don’t tell her you’ll call her. (Mystery.) Go somewhere else, even another bar, if
necessary. If you stick around, everything you do from here on out will only accomplish one
thing: lowering her interest level in you. Leave her curious and wondering about you. That way,
when you call, she’s got response potential. The mistake that many guys make is that they stick
around far too long with a gal they’ve hit it off with. She needs some space to think about you,
so back off and let her. You’ve got other women to meet and numbers to get. This mission is
over, soldier.