tion results from the expression of your consciously acknowledged
important values in a way that suits you.
Both designing and expressing your consciously chosen pur-
pose will increase your awareness of what you really want. Are your
desires really OK with you? This point is important to consider, be-
cause if they are not, there are likely to be internal conflicts in de-
signing your purpose.
How Do You Decide Which Desires to Accept?
Accepting a desire does not mean you must act on it. Accepting a
desire simply means that you accept yourself while having it. Con-
versely, condemning your desire implies that you disapprove of
yourself for having it. A little self-examination may be necessary to
bring this dynamic to awareness. Do this by contemplating some de-
sire that is not OK with you and notice how you feel about yourself.
If you have walked across the Golden Gate Bridge or been to the
top of the Empire State Building or any other high vantage point,
most likely the desire to jump passed through your mind. It seems
to be just about impossible to look down from a high place without
wondering what it would feel like to jump. Statistically, most people
who visit these places, even those who accept the desire to jump
and thus enjoy the experience of imagining jumping off, do not in
fact jump. So accepting this desire did not cause them to act it out.
ACCEPTINGDESIRES
Take a minute to think about some of your desires that you do
not accept—that are not OK with you. Write these down. Take
your time and let it be OK to know about them. Likely these de-
sires are accompanied by negative internal self-talk and perhaps even
guilty feelings of self-condemnation. However, having a desire in no way
compels you to act it out. For a moment, allow yourself to accept these
desires, realizing that most humans probably have some of the same
ones. By doing so, you’ll immediately notice an internal shift to greater
self-acceptance.
The inability to accept yourself leads to a variety of problems and con-
flicts, and not just about money. Shame, guilt, beating yourself up, making
yourself wrong, giving yourself a hard time, and feeling depressed are
some of the ways people express the inability to accept themselves.
These patterns are common to a wide variety of clients. The feelings
(usually guilt) associated with condemning desires have caused some peo-
ple to suppress their desire for money, as well. Make sure you take the time
How Do You Decide Which Desires to Accept? 91