The hierarchy operates, whether you are aware of it or not. If
your purpose is not consciously chosen, then your unconsciously
chosen inherited purpose may conflict with consciously chosen
goals. Here you will learn to declare a consciously chosen purpose
to express your important values.
Motivation matters, also. If you have experienced conflicts or re-
sistance in achieving consciously chosen goals, overreliance on
moving-away motivation may be the root cause. Overreliance on
moving-away motivation causes a person to be primarily reactive to
external events rather than responsive to internally generated goals
and desires.
Consistent use of the Baseball Diamond method from Chapter 4
increases the power of moving-toward motivation. This method bal-
ances your behavior between avoiding painful situations and mov-
ing toward your internal pleasurable goals. We have uncovered a
number of irrational fears that are the root of this procrastination.
If you have any of these fears, realize that they are truly irrational
rather than warnings of impending danger.
Fear of being different, attracting attention, or speaking up
in generalPeople with the confidence to act on their own authority are a
rarity. When you permit yourself to be motivated by a consciously
chosen purpose, you run the risk of disapproval from those who
are threatened by your initiative.
Unwarranted loyalty to childhood purpose or to parents
in generalThe movie My Big Fat Greek Weddingdepicts the perils of violating
family loyalty in an extreme manner. Clearly most families are not
so xenophobic as the family in the movie that is devastated by a
daughter’s intention to marry a non-Greek. However, almost all
families enforce certain conditions that must be fulfilled to main-
tain acceptance and approval.
If your parents love you at all, then they want the best for you
according to their own values. Whether their values are the right
ones for you is a determination only you can make. Probably
some of what they taught you is useful and some is not. If you re-
main loyal to counterproductive values—struggle, helplessness,
conformity, domination, and sacrifice—these are expressed as
part of your inherited purpose. Earning the income you want
Why Bother to Declare Your Purpose? 95