Negotiation Matrix Explained
The negotiation matrix (Table 11.1) provides a convenient way to
evaluate your behavior. Our first negotiating experiences came as
children. Negotiating from the Child–Parent mode gives all the
power to the adult and will leave you at a disadvantage. Because
children have little power, you are more successful as a negotiator
moving your behavior to the far right (Adult–Adult) column.YOUR VIEW OF THE COUNTERPART
To a child, almost everyone is an authority figure. If you view your
counterpart as an authority figure, then it is natural to conclude
that the other person’s desires, statements, and opinions are more
important than yours. In this position, it is too easy to rationalize ac-
ceptance of whatever is offered, rather than asking for what you
want. People often have this attitude when approaching a lending
institution for a loan. Yet lending institutions derive their income
by making loans. It is neither useful nor pleasant to approach a
lending institution on bended knee in the posture of a beggar seek-
ing a handout, any more than you would beg your local grocery
store to sell food to you. They need your business as much as you
need them. Regardless of whom you are dealing with your negotia-186 Negotiation
TABLE 11.1 Negotiation Matrix
Negotiating Factor Child–Parent Mode Adult–Adult Mode
Your View of the Authority figure Equal
Counterpart
Number of Sources One Many
Negotiation Method Justification of desire Make offers to
other person and
consider theirs.
Continue until
agreement is
reached or until
you realize that
one cannot be
made.