tion will be more successful if you view the other as an equal, whose
desires are no more and no less important than yours. This is a
good time to remember what you did in the Authority Figure exer-
cise in Chapter 6.
NUMBER OF SOURCES
An early and common conclusion we made as children is that good-
ies all come from one place: Mommy or Daddy. As adults, this is no
longer an accurate view. You can have multiple sources of income
and anything else that you want. Realizing that there are many
places to obtain what you are negotiating for helps take the pres-
sure off, because it is not a catastrophe if you cannot make the deal.
NEGOTIATION METHOD
Infants have little in the way of goods and services to offer but
simply receive nourishment, shelter, love, and affection as a re-
sult of parental generosity and responsibility. What anyone can
offer in a negotiation increases with age. Infants, with limited
communication skills and lacking much to offer, pitch fits to get
what they want. Nine-year-olds seeking permission to go to a
movie and believing they have nothing to offer the authority fig-
ures whose permission is required strenuously justify the desire
with long lists of reasons. Savvy teenagers who want to use the
family car on prom night can offer a wide variety of services to
obtain the required permission.
As adults, things are very different. First, you have a lot more
to offer the other person. Second, in many cases, your reasons
for wanting what you are asking for are of little concern to the
other person. An understanding employer may empathize with
the financial pressure you feel from mounting bills but will not
feel these justify giving you a raise. The issues that matter are
what you can offer your employer in increased productivity and
responsibility.
EVALUATINGYOURNEGOTIATINGEXPERIENCE
On a separate sheet of paper, list the transactions you have
made with a value in excess of $5,000. (See Table 11.2 for an
example.) No skipping ahead. Do this now! If you find yourself
procrastinating, go back to the exercises on eliminating procrastination,
then come back.
Negotiation Matrix Explained 187