MAKEYOUROWNLIST OFTRANSACTIONS
Depending on your age and experience, your list may be longer
or shorter than the sample, and your numbers may be larger or
smaller.
Go back over your list and add up the amounts of the transactions that
are less than satisfactory. These are the transactions where you believe you
could have or should have done better. It is likely that you could have done
10 percent to 20 percent better in each of the unsatisfactory transactions if
you had used better negotiating skills. Ten to 20 percent of the amount
may come to a big number, which will serve as a powerful incentive for im-
proving your negotiating ability.
By referring back to the negotiation matrix, you will no doubt discover
that you were far more successful in instances where your behavior was as
described in the Adult–Adult column.Accepting Conflict
Negotiation is the process that resolves a conflict to the satisfaction
of all concerned. Several consumer rights groups have published
reports showing that women pay more for the same major pur-
chases than men. It is probably fair to say that women are less com-
fortable, in general, with conflict than men. Once I (PL) was a
guest on a radio talk show, discussing the issue of negotiation and
conflict with the host. A female caller asked, “Why does negotiation
have to be that way?” Her question is a bit like asking why water is
wet. Conflict is the inherent nature of negotiation. The conflict ex-
ists before the negotiation starts. The buyer wants to pay the lowest
price and the seller wants the highest price. A completed negotia-
tion results in a satisfactory resolution of this conflict.188 Negotiation
TABLE 11.2 Past Negotiation Experience
Approximate Approximate
Date Description Amount
1992 Bought House $ 80,000
1993 Bought Car $ 8,000
1995 Accepted Job Offer $ 45,000
1996 Salary Negotiation $ 50,000
1998 Sold House $ 95,000
1998 Signed Year Lease on Condo $ 12,000
2001 Bought House $170,000