it as so. We explain how to identify and characterize other people’s
internal thinking so that what you present appears most compelling
to each individual. People are different. They purchase different
things for different reasons. When you finish this chapter, you will
know what to listen for so you can present your product or service
in the most effective way to each customer you contact.
The process consists of two parts: (1) categorize your customer’s
motivation and thinking method by knowing what to listen for and
(2) be flexible enough to tailor your communication to suit each
individual.
Have you ever seen some Americans in foreign countries? Unable
to speak the local language, they try English, then loudEnglish, and
sometimes even English with a foreign accent to make themselves un-
derstood. Have you ever felt similar frustration, even with people who
understand English? You make your communication most compelling
and most influential by tailoring your message to the recipient.
We influence each other continuously. Whether you consider
yourself a salesperson or not, you are sure to benefit from increased
ability to influence others. For example, if you are a parent, it is im-
perative that you be a better salesperson than the local drug dealer.
“Walk a mile in another man’s shoes” is a poignant adage point-
ing out the impossibility of understanding others from your own
point of view. You gain far greater understanding of people by see-
ing the world as they see it. In Chapter 7 you used your power of
perception to reduce the emotional intensity of past negative expe-
riences and to increase your enjoyment of past positive experi-
ences. Dissociating (seeing yourself in the picture) reduces the
emotional intensity of any event; associating (seeing the event
through your own eyes) increases emotional intensity.
In this chapter you learn to understand others more quickly to
build an emotional connection. These methods are most effective
when you consider the other person’s perspective as well as your
own. These different points of view are perceptual positions. So far
we have discussed two perceptual positions: associated and dissoci-
ated. These were sufficient for dealing with ourselves. Here we add
a third because we are dealing with other people. The third posi-
tion is the view of the other person.Three Perceptual Positions
Position #1—You (associated, seeing reality through your own
eyes)194 Secrets of Compelling Communication