own behavior and how you present your case to the other person.
Use this feedback to change your behavior. It is a way to build your
sensory acuity. Remember, sensory acuity is one of the five princi-
ples for achieving success.
Putting It All Together
When you fully understand and regularly use all three perceptual
positions, you gain great sensory acuity. You are able to make the
changes necessary to correct the situation if it is not going well im-
mediately, which gives you behavioral flexibility. This is another key
to achieving success.
You probably have experienced an event similar to this in your
workplace. Imagine you are Mary telling Bill he did a poor job. You
did this without considering how Bill would feel or react. Bill
thinks he has been doing a good job and does not understand why
he is being accused otherwise. Now, the conflict begins and an ar-
gument starts. Does this scenario sound familiar to you? Has this
ever happened to you? Most people have gone through this. We
know we have.
A better way to handle the situation is to take all three positions
both before the event and as it unfolds. Let’s say you are Mary. In
your position as yourself, you notice that Bill shows displeasure
through his facial expressions. This is a clue for you to take the
other perceptual positions.
Now take position #3 (Bill’s perspective) and observe yourself as
Bill would see you. Imagine how you would feel, as Bill, if this were
the first time you had been told that you are doing a bad job.
Wouldn’t you be upset? Most people would be. Now take position
#2, the observer position, and see the event again. What did you no-
tice as an observer? From this perspective, how could the scenario
have played out differently? What things could both people have
changed to prevent the unpleasantness?
Think for a moment how powerful it would be to have the
mental flexibility to take all three positions as an event happens.
When taking position #3 (other person), you notice it felt bad to
hear this news and you became angry because no one had men-
tioned the problem before. Using this information, you can
change your approach. You also can take the observer’s perspec-
tive, in which emotions are far less intense, often nonexistent.
What did you notice when no emotions were involved? Did you
Putting It All Together 197