Wealth Without a Job: The Entrepreneur's Guide to Freedom and Security Beyond the 9 to 5 Lifestyle

Did you have difficulty understanding any of the sentences? Did any

seem not quite right to you? This is quite normal. The statements that felt

natural and easy to understand are most likely in your own favored repre-

sentational system. The others are not.

Sometimes I (AF) didn’t understand what my wife, Tamar, was say-

ing. She had the same issues with me. My predominant representational

system is visual and my least favored was kinesthetic. Her predominant

representational system is kinesthetic. No wonder we had a tough time

understanding each other, before we realized and respected these dif-

ferences.

Now I use language patterns that accommodate her main represen-

tational system. For a predominantly visual person like me, talking kines-

thetically was challenging, but our communication has improved

tremendously since.

Here are the answers to the exercise you just did. Congratulate your-

self for completing the exercise. If you did not do the exercise, go back

and do it now. You want to improve your overall communications, don’t

you? Do the exercise now.

The key words shown in italics help identify the correct representa-

tional system.

1. He’s constantly giving me staticabout that. (auditory)


2. That really brightensmy day. (visual)


3. I’m absolutely immersedin this project. (kinesthetic)


4. This thing is weighing on me.(kinesthetic)


5. The guy is really offbeat.(auditory)


6. This problem keeps staring me in the face.(visual)


7. This project really stinks.(olfactory)


8. This guy has a checkeredpast. (visual)

How did you do? Did you get them all right? If you did not, it’s

OK. With practice, it will become natural to you. Taking action and

applying what you learned here will produce the results you want.

Think of the world as your laboratory. You have subjects every-

where to practice on. By knowing what to listen for, you’ll listen

more effectively.

Let’s do another quick exercise. Think about all the people in your

life. Which ones do you get along with the best? Who seems to

understand you the best even when you don’t finish the sentence?

Whom do you relate to the easiest? Most likely the people whom you get

along with best have the same predominant representational system as you.

Next time you get together, listen to the phrases they use and see if you can

identify with them. Notice which representational system they favor.

204 Secrets of Compelling Communication