If the benefits of taking responsibility for one’s life were in short
supply, you would expect to see people lined up around the block
to get them. Well, there really is no shortage. Whatever your cur-
rent circumstances, they are the result of goals you established, con-
sciously or unconsciously, in the past. Clearly the circumstances you
don’t like are the result of unconscious intentions. Responsibility
has nothing to do with blame or fault. Blame and fault are best
thought of as legal concepts of great importance in courtrooms, but
detrimental to successful accomplishment. Responsibility gives us
the power to change ourselves, which is all we control anyway. Re-
sponsibility promises freedom from the pain that comes from allow-
ing your well-being to depend on factors you do not control.
Additionally, responsibility exposes compulsive complainers for the
irresponsible people they are.
If you use blame or fault to justify your shortcomings and, in
particular, your financial lack, then, by the dynamic and highly co-
operative creative power of your mind, you are bound to create
more of the same. “Are you telling us that my overdue credit card
bills or (the boss who won’t give me a raise) or (the stagnant post 9-
11 economy) or (my low self-esteem) or (feelings of depression)
are my fault?” you may ask. No, these things are not your fault. But
by taking responsibility for these conditions, you empower yourself32 The Emotional Dynamics of Change
FIGURE 4.1 Cause and Effect
Source:Adapted from the work of Tad James, Advanced Neuro Dynamics,
The Accelerated NLP Practitioner Certification Training Manual,Copyright
© 1987–2000, Tad James, & Advanced Neuro Dynamics. Reprinted by
permission.