had. They could not give you something that they themselves were
never taught. Keep in mind that the most important aspect of the
past is not what actually happened but how it affects you today.
Money comes from other people, so your ability to get more of it
depends a great deal on how well you discuss money with others.
Just like most of us, you were brought up to believe certain
things and to believe incertain things. You are grown up now. Use
the information in this chapter to reevaluate the beliefs you
adopted in childhood. Most people discover there are some beliefs
they wish to keep and others they would be far better off without.
Take a moment to recall your parents’ discussions about money.
Probably their discussions were nonexistent, negative, or very nega-
tive. If your parents avoided discussing money issues, it is most likely
that you concluded that money is something impolite to discuss or
mysterious.
In many families, discussions about money are negative only
and deal with shortage, limitation, and complaints about the items
that cannot be afforded. In extreme cases, the discussions about
money are so negative as to be loud arguments. If your parents ar-
gued about money, it is likely you have financial problems as an
adult, and will do so at least until you resolve this issue and the asso-
ciated uncomfortable feelings. You may have concluded that money
causes arguments. Therefore, the way to have peace is to have as lit-
tle money as possible. The person with such a childhood experi-
ence would avoid discussions about money.
Whatever your parents taught you about money, it has been so
deeply ingrained during your 20,000 meals with them that the in-
formation may inhabit your consciousness as unnoticed, unques-
tioned truth. Recalling your parents’ discussions about money is
likely to bring to mind some of the vocabulary you commonly use
when talking about money.Cleaning Up Your Money Vocabulary
Are you the victim of fuzzy thinking? Do debilitating unconsciously
held rules about money stand in the way of your wealth? Be careful
about what you say. Remember that everything you say goes out of
your mouth into your own ears and into the Thinker part of your
mind. Then the Prover part of your mind goes to work to prove that
whatever you just said is true. The use of one or more of these words
often expresses fuzzy thinking and debilitating rules about money:72 Your Recovery from a Good Upbringing