The Art of Approaching

(Rick Simeone) #1
“Well, eventually the fire department shows up and tears the hood of the
car off so they can put out the fire.

As they were doing this, one of the firemen was yelling at everyone for
videotaping everything and not seeking shelter. It was quite exciting.

I got some really great pictures to remember it by too.”

So the Resolution to the story is that you ended up doing something which you
criticized others for doing as well, which will usually get a laugh.

But you also paint yourself as a man of action by taking the initiative to try and
save people by telling them to get away from the danger.

--The “Street Brawl” Opener


If people go to enough bars or clubs where over-testosteronized guys consume
copious amounts of alcohol, chances are they’ve seen fights break out. So stories
where you talk of witnessing fights outside of clubs and bars are relatable to
pretty much anyone, but no less exciting.

This Opener works best on mixed groups that contain both men and women.

“Hey guys, you won’t believe what I just saw.

I was outside of this club, right, and there was this BIG guy outside with a
mohawk. And he was arguing with this little preppie guy over something,
I don’t know what.

And all of a sudden, this mohawk guy just CLOCKS the other dude – hard!

Not only does he punch the guy, but he follows through with his elbow, so
it’s like a straight 1-2 hit!

And the guy who got punched just stands there for a minute, like his brain
doesn’t quite realize what just happened, and he falls straight back onto
the concrete like he’s stiff as a 2-by-4, and just lays there looking straight
up into the sky with his eyes wide open.

And everyone’s looking at this just stunned. And this guy isn’t moving,
isn’t even blinking, and I’m thinking “Crap, this guy is dead! He’s
fucking dead and I’m a witness!”

(If they ask what happened next, use this Resolution)

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