special for HER. Pleasing HER. Making HER feel comfortable and happy. And to do
that, you need to know what you’re doing.”
Kevin was silent for a moment. Then he said “You’re right. I’ve been looking at this the
wrong way the whole time.”
“You bought into the great Virginity myth,” I said. “It’s not your fault. A great many
people buy into this myth too. But it’s important to break out of it as soon as you can if
you want to be happy.”
“So what do I need to do? See a hooker?” asked Kevin.
“I’d never advise that you do something illegal or dangerous,” I said. “Seeing a
professional is one way to get past this mental barrier you’ve built up about sex, and it
can be safe because she’s not there to judge you. But there are other ways to do it too.”
“Such as?”
“Such as allowing yourself to make mistakes,” I said. “We all learn from our mistakes.
Much of the pressure we put on ourselves comes from the desire to do everything right
the first time around.
That never happens. We must allow ourselves to learn, and to do that, we need to have a
grace period for failure. When you date women, push your comfort zone and go as far as
you can take it. Get her into bed, have sex with her, but know that it doesn’t have to be
perfect. Allow yourself to learn and experience new things. Don’t let fear rule your
decision process. Don’t allow fairy tale concepts like ‘true love’ and ‘special moments’
dictate what you can and can’t experience.
We all determine who we love and what moments are special, not fate, or other mystical
forces. We just have to allow ourselves to experience opportunities as they arise and not
edit ourselves from experiencing them.
When you do that, and you allow yourself to learn, you’ll lose your virginity, and be
ready to find that special girl you’re going to fall in love with.”
Kevin left our meeting with a new purpose. He stopped allowing himself to be ruled by
fear and took my advice. It was hard for him at first, but he eventually grew more
comfortable about learning.
Three months after our conversation, he lost his virginity to a girl he had met at the mall.
They had gone on three dates before he made his move. He called me up afterwards.
“You were right,” he said. “It was hot, sweaty, and clumsy. I don’t feel any different
now that I’ve done it.”
© Copyright Bizlancer Inc. It is forbidden to copy this report in any manner. Web: http://www.artofapproaching.com