The Art of Approaching

(Rick Simeone) #1

“Before he became a famous actor, he made money by doing gigs like handing out fliers
in a chicken suit,” said Zan. “He said that back when he was doing that, he couldn’t get
laid to save his life.”


“Really?” I said. “But he’s such a good looking guy!”


“That should tell you something about how much looks play into attraction,” Zan said.
“But that doesn’t mean beauty doesn’t play a role.”


“What do you mean?”


“Look over there,” Zan said, pointing to a booth on the other side of McDonalds where
two girls were sitting. One was a cute skinny girl with blonde hair. The other was a
somewhat overweight girl with dark hair. They were both chilling out, eating
hamburgers.


“Based on what you see,” Zan said. “Which of those two girls would you go after?”


“The cute one,” I said.


“Right, because you’re looking at their appearance. How they look. That’s how guys
quantify beauty. But that’s not I quantify it.”


“You saying you’d go after the fat chick?” I said.


“I didn’t say that,” Zan smiled. “I said, that’s how we determine what we think is
beautiful. The way I do it is actually closer to the way women do it.”


“And how do they do it?” I asked.


“Women are emotional creatures. They base their definition of beauty on how they feel
when they’re around someone. If a man can make them feel happy, attractive, and sexual,
they see him as beautiful. They find him attractive because he makes them feel good.


When a woman sees a good looking guy, those looks make her feel good, therefore she
might be attracted to him. But looks wear off quickly. After a couple minutes, you’re
over it. If there’s nothing there to sustain those good feelings, the attraction is lost.


The same is true of the opposite. If she’s neutral or doesn’t really like your looks, she
might not feel attracted to you. But if you can make her laugh and feel good, the looks
subside and she becomes attracted, because you make her feel good about herself. That’s
how I judge women too.”


“Based on how they make you feel?”


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