PERSONAL TRUTHS ARE ALSO PERSONAL LIES
When I talk about my notions of thoughts and beliefs to students, I tend to get personal
objections from people who try to defend their negative thinking. I hear things like:
“You say you need to face reality and look at hard truths, but then you say you need to
fool yourself into thinking you look good to get women. That doesn’t make any sense.”
And that’s true, when you put it like that, it DOESN’T make any sense.
But the people who raise this objection are often missing a very important point.
I do not encourage people to live in fantasy. I am a strong believer that you must deal
with reality if you want to learn and improve.
But you also have to determine WHAT KIND OF reality you want to be dealing with.
Do you want to deal with a negative, bleak reality? Or one that is full of hope, promise,
and positive opportunities?
Understand: We have direct control over what we think, feel, and believe. And that
has direct influence over how we see reality.
The people who look in the mirror and lament negative thoughts, feelings, and words
justify feeling bad by saying things like “That’s the cold, hard truth. It’s a FACT. You
can’t deny it.”
But these truths are also lies. If you lie to yourself, I would say the journey will never be
completed. So my best advice is to listen to your doubts, fears, and limiting thoughts,
and then dig deeper for the deeper truth.
For example, saying something like “I’m tired, I don’t feel like going out to meet women
tonight,” may be a truth, but it is also a lie. The real truth may be “I think I’m going to
get rejected tonight, and I don’t feel like going through that right now.”
But that itself isn’t really a truth. The REAL truth is that you WANT to go out, have a
good time, and meet a fantastic woman. But for some reason, you don’t think it’s
possible. You end up telling yourself a lie that grows from a truth.
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