Thinking you’re too ugly to approach a girl may just keep you from meeting someone
who is actually attracted to you! But your critique of your looks served to shame you out
of an opportunity for happiness.
You sought to avoid rejection by rejecting yourself before the girl had an opportunity to.
You just made the process quicker and in some ways, more painful!
Critiquing yourself also brings your weaknesses and insecurities to the forefront. It
makes you put your worst foot forward in every situation and will project a negative
energy. People don’t want to be around someone who’s always negative.
Criticizing: If you ever want to be truly confident, you must rid yourself of all desire to
blame or criticize anyone, including (and especially) yourself.
When you criticize yourself or blame yourself for something negative, you are creating
negative feelings that will destroy your confidence. And when you blame and criticize
others, you only serve to create hostility and avoid any responsibility for your role in
whatever happened.
For instance, let’s say you try to make out with a girl and she pushes you away. The self-
critical man would think:
“I blew it! I’m so stupid! She hates me, I’m unattractive. No woman wants me. I can’t
blame her. I’m a loser.”
The criticizer of others would think:
“Stupid bitch! How dare she lead me on! She must be a lesbian. I’m too good for her
anyway.”
Thinking like this takes away from the fact that maybe you moved too fast and didn’t
read the signs she was giving you right. Maybe she was into you, but needed a little more
time to warm up and be comfortable kissing you.
A confident man would just sit back and continue on with her until the next opportunity
arose. Your habit of criticizing ends the relationship right there.
Alarming: One of the worst things you can be is an alarmist.
This is when you tend to think of the WORST possible case scenario in every situation.
This is a habit that will keep you on the edge of your seat with worry – constantly.
As we all know, worry is self-defeating and time consuming (not to mention tiring!).
Nothing is ever good enough for the alarmist because he always sees dark clouds on the
horizon.
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