- Stop avoiding discipline, from yourself and others, and accept it maturely
- Stop criticizing yourself
- Try to accept criticism from others calmly and maturely.
- Stop blaming and complaining.
- Stop trying to make things perfect, and get them finished in a timely fashion
- Stop making excuses to avoid what you must do
- Avoid wasting time with things you don’t have to do
- Stop making excuses for yourself, for you or anyone
- Do anything you choose to do, and do so with a positive attitude
- Be honest and own up if you procrastinate. No lies, no excuses.
Learn these permissions and take them to heart. Remember that promises must be kept,
not broken, and that acting with self-control is a mark of self-respect and respect for
others.
Avoiding
Avoiding is a process that is invoked by fear. Something you experience causes you to
want to avoid a certain type of action. For instance, the fear of meeting women will
make you avoid talking to them.
Some people might call this “fear of rejection,” or something like that, but regardless of
what you call it, its fear that’s keeping you from meeting the women you’re attracted to,
right?
In order to overcome the habit of avoiding, lay out the emotions that keep you from being
courageous and confident. Try to understand what your ongoing fear is. What is it your
feeling and what causes those feelings to emerge? What happens afterwards? Do you
blame yourself? Others? When do you feel safe? What has to be present to make you
feel safe and comfortable? Why do you feel the need to avoid something?
Somewhere in your development as a human being, your brain learned to avoid things as
a way to protect yourself. Maybe when you told a girl you liked her for the first time in
second grade, she laughed at you and said “Boys are icky!” before running away. If that
made you feel bad or ashamed, your brain made it a point to try to keep you from telling
girls you liked them as a way to avoid feeling those bad emotions. You basically trained
yourself to avoid situations where this might occur.
In order to change this habit, you’ll have to train yourself in a new routine. A work-out
program for your brain that will continue to protect you in a new way if you persist at it.
By associating your fear with calm and comfort, a new brain algorithm will develop: fear
Æ calm Æ fear Æ calm. It will take time for this to really take hold because your fears
are illogical, not logical, so they require a psychological response.
© Copyright Bizlancer Inc. It is forbidden to copy this report in any manner. Web: http://www.artofapproaching.com