Chapter 5: Pushing the Communication Buttons 79
they’re feeling a bit low or aren’t particularly interested in what they’re trying
to remember. If you’re not into multi-tasking, you may have trouble coping
with more than one!Every second you’re hit by millions of bits of information. If you tried to deal
with this vast array of input, you’d go mad. In order to preserve your sanity,
you filter the incoming information before your brain processes it and makes
internal representations from this information (we discuss internal represen-
tations more in Chapter 2).In addition, all your different experiences and filters influence the processes
by which you create these internal representations of the external events you
perceive through your senses.The way in which the external stimuli of the world are converted into internal
representations in your brain involves three fundamental processes: dele-
tions, distortions, and generalisations. The following sections give you a
brief overview of these processes. For more in-depth information, head to
Chapter 15.Deletion
Deletions happen when you pay attention to some information coming in
through your senses but are completely oblivious to other stimuli. Think of
a nutty professor, so caught up in his work that he leaves home wearing his
bedroom slippers.Kate’s story about her mother-in-law illustrates nicely how your unconscious
mind makes deletions. Her mother-in-law used to travel by bus to Kennington
in London to work for The Children’s Society, a British charity. Normally
she put her rubbish out before returning for her handbag and briefcase. One
morning, however, she was running a little late and grabbed all three bags
together – handbag, briefcase, and rubbish bag. Only when she found herself
sitting on the bus, thinking that it was really whiffy that morning, did she
realise that she’d taken her rubbish bag on to the bus with her!
Distortion
A distortion occurs when you misinterpret information coming in through
your senses and create meaning from a situation that’s not necessarily true:
for example, when a wife complains that her husband ‘didn’t help me and so
that means he doesn’t care’. You may see what you want to see to reinforce
your viewpoint instead of what’s in front of your eyes. Distortion can also
involve deletion of information.A cynic may say that being in love is a form of distortion, where you go all
starry-eyed behind your rose-tinted glasses (to mix metaphors), completely
oblivious to the faults of your ‘perfect’ partner. Perhaps you’re so keen to
find your true love that you ignore aspects of the person’s behaviour that can
ruin the relationship in the long term.