Chapter 5: Pushing the Communication Buttons 87
Examples of limiting decisions include: ‘I can’t spell’, ‘money is the root of all
evil, so to be good I mustn’t be rich’, and ‘if I go on a diet I won’t be able to
enjoy my food’.Many of your limiting decisions are made unconsciously, some when you are
very young, and may be forgotten. As you grow and develop, your values may
change and you need to recognise and reassess any decisions that may be
hindering you.In the earlier section ‘Values’, we tell you about James who worked in Africa
for several years. Well, when he returned to England, he was even poorer than
a church mouse, because he now had to provide for his family, without the
help of the charity for whom he’d worked. On thinking about their circum-
stances, he drew up a new hierarchical set of values as follows:✓ Happiness
✓ Enriching lives
✓ Being with my family
✓ Security
✓ Financial freedom
✓ Variety
When he decided that he needed financial freedom, he realised that the deci-
sion he’d made (rich people = greedy = bad) when he was little was hamper-
ing him from providing for his family. He thought about how he may be able
to earn good money, help people, and stay close to his family. Today, James
is extremely happy, very wealthy, and enriching lives. How? He topped up his
MSc in Business Management with a PhD in Psychology. He runs workshops
around the world, travelling with his wife.Giving Effective Communication a Try
As the earlier sections in this chapter show, much of the way you think and
behave is unconscious; your values, beliefs, memories, and so on, form and
impact upon your responses. Fortunately, you don’t have to be at the mercy
of your unconscious mind.With awareness, you can take control of how you communicate with people,
which is a liberating and empowering thought in itself! Just keep these point-
ers in mind: