Neuro Linguistic Programming

(Wang) #1

Chapter 8: Understanding to Be Understood: Meta Programs 129


Being Proactive/Reactive


If you’re more inclined to take action and get things moving, you operate at
the proactive end of the scale. If, however, you’re inclined to take stock and
wait for things to happen, you’re probably more reactive. Some more in-depth
descriptions follow:

✓ Proactive: If you’re proactive you take charge and get things done.
You’re good at spotting solutions to situations that require constant
fire-fighting. You may find yourself drawn to jobs in sales or working for
yourself. You find yourself upsetting some people, especially if they’re
more reactive, because they liken you to a bulldozer.


✓ Reactive: If you’re more reactive you may be quite fatalistic. You wait
for others to take the lead or you take action only when you consider
the time to be right. You may need to be careful not to analyse yourself
into a paralysis.


You can exhibit proactive or reactive tendencies, depending on the context
within which you’re working. Robert, although very good at his job, is quite
reactive about asserting himself as regards requesting promotion and pay
rises. He waits for his boss to offer, rather than ask for them. He prefers to
wait for instructions before working on projects, rather than initiating work.
However, he loves his holidays and is extremely proactive in visiting travel
agents, talking to people, and surfing the Internet when planning his holidays.

You can spot the difference between a proactive and a reactive person by
the body language. A proactive person is likely to have quicker movements,
showing signs of impatience. These people are likely to hold themselves
erect in a ‘shoulders back, chest out’ posture that’s ready to take on the
world. A reactive person displays slower movements and may keep their
head down and shoulders slouched.

According to Shelle Rose Charvet, in her book Words That Change Minds, when
advertising for a person who you want to be proactive, you should ask the
candidate to telephone instead of sending a CV. As a general rule, reactive
people are less likely to call.

To discover whether someone’s proactive or reactive, you can ask: ‘Do you
find it easy to take action when you find yourself in a new situation, or do you
need to study and understand what’s going on first?’

✓ A proactive person uses phrases such as ‘just do it’, ‘jump to it’, ‘go for
it’, ‘run with it’, ‘take control’, and ‘hit the tarmac running’.


✓ A reactive person is more likely to use phrases such as, ‘mull it over’,
‘take your time’, ‘study the data’, ‘weigh the pros and cons’, and ‘look
before you leap’.

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